


Cherry on Top

by gmariam



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, M/M, questionable innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 05:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14325594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gmariam/pseuds/gmariam
Summary: Tosh and Owen question Ianto about Jack's flirting and challenge him to do something about it.





	Cherry on Top

"Does it ever bother you?" asked Tosh, keeping her voice down in case the subject of her query—and their boss—walked in.

Ianto glanced up from his lunch, the questioning look on his face prompting her to continue even as Owen sniggered beside her, knowing exactly what she was referring to.

"The looks, the smiles, the flirting?" She was slightly embarrassed to even be asking, but Owen had brought it up earlier that day after watching another round of it at the coffee machine, and she had to admit, she was growing more curious as well.

Setting down his fork, Ianto smiled and nodded. "Ah, this morning. Should it bother me?" He took a sip of his water bottle as he waited for her reply.

"You tell us," said Owen, jumping into the conversation that was his idea in the first place; Tosh hoped he didn't stick his foot in it. "He can be unrelenting sometimes. How do you stand it?"

They received a shrug in reply as Ianto returned to his lunch. "It's Jack. That's the way he is." He paused and looked up. "Why, does it bother you?"

"Does what bother me?" asked Owen, and Ianto rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Does it bother you when he does that stuff?"

"With you?"

A short laugh accompanied raised eyebrows and careful enunciation. "No, with you. Does it bother you when Jack flirts with  _you_?"

Owen snorted as he tipped back in his chair. "For someone who claims to know so much, you sure missed the boat on that one. Jack doesn't flirt with me."

"Can't imagine why," Tosh murmured under her voice. Ianto ducked his head and chuckled as Owen threw her an annoyed look.

"Seriously," said Owen, leaning forward again. "He used to, until I punched him. You were there, Tosh. It was that night at the Dockside with Suzie a few years ago—he about drove me up the wall with it. One fat lip later, and I'm free."

"Do you miss it then?" asked Ianto, sharing an amused smile with Tosh. Owen shook his head, missing the exchange completely.

"God, no. Best set of bruised knuckles in my life, and I got an unpaid day off for it, too. Answer the question: does it bother  _you_?"

Ianto leaned forward and very patiently looked them both in the eye. "No, it doesn't. It's just who he is and what he does."

"So if he stopped, you wouldn't miss it?" asked Owen.

"You don't seem to mind," Ianto pointed out.

"Not one bit," said the doctor. "But you return it. Would you miss flirting back if he stopped?"

Ianto didn't even hesitate as he shook his head. "No, because there's always you and Tosh." Owen sputtered, but Tosh laughed; Ianto was clearly taking the piss. "I might be concerned for Jack, though," he continued thoughtfully.

"Why?" asked Tosh. She chanced a glance at the door to make sure Jack didn't walk in on their conversation.

"Wouldn't you find it odd if Jack suddenly stopped acting like Jack?" asked Ianto, as if it were obvious. "No wild stories, no shameless innuendo?"

"Well, of course I would," said Tosh. "I'd probably run a scan for alien tech and send him to Owen for blood work." She shared a laugh with Ianto before continuing. "But Jack being Jack doesn't mean he needs to harass you so much."

Ianto's eyes widened, and he offered a very inelegant noise that sounded like a cross between a snort and a laugh. "He's not harassing me, Tosh, no matter what I might say about filling out the forms. I try to hold my own, and it's simply part of the game."

Tosh crossed her hands in front of her and studied Ianto, trying to decide whether or not she could get away with asking more. She had little choice when Owen snapped his fingers in front of her, bringing her back to the conversation.

"Out with it, Tosh. What are you thinking?"

"Loads of things, most of them wildly inappropriate," said Tosh, shaking herself with a laugh and earning a snort from Owen. "But here's another question for you, Ianto. What if he meant it?"

Ianto paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. "Meant what?"

"The flirting, the teasing—you know, the hints and suggestions? All of it. What if he meant what he says?"

Owen rolled his eyes. "Come on, Tosh, he's Jack Harkness. He never means anything."

"I don't think that's true," said Tosh, turning toward Owen. "I think he means quite a bit of what he says to people. He just says it in a way to make them  _think_  he doesn't mean it."

Ianto was frowning now. "I'm not sure that applies to workplace banter around the coffee machine, Tosh."

"But what if it did?" she pressed. "What would you do then?"

Ianto was staring at her as if the thought had never occurred to him, though for some reason she seriously doubted it. Ianto might put on a good show for Jack, but maybe there was more to it for him as well. He was too intelligent to not consider the possibilities. "I don't know. Maybe pull an Owen Harper and punch him," he replied dryly.

"You've already done that," Owen pointed out. "He just waited a few weeks and started up again." Both Tosh and Ianto threw him dirty looks at the reminder of a very dark and still relatively recent time for them all.

"Maybe instead of solving things with violence, boys," Tosh said, a hint of exasperation in her voice, "you should try something else."

"I don't understand why it's an issue," said Ianto, sounding slightly puzzled. "It means nothing. It's how Jack works, how he communicates—it's who he is."

"So sure of that, are you?" asked Owen, and Ianto gave him a bland look.

"I'm fairly good at reading people, yes."

"Really? And you can read Jack Harkness?"

"I didn't say that," Ianto said, returning to his food with an enigmatic look. "But I did get myself a job here, and I do know exactly what needs to be done around this place every day to keep it running smoothly." He raised his gaze to Owen's face with an eyebrow cocked in challenge. "You're certainly an open book."

"Sod off," Owen snapped. "I don't need you psychoanalyzing me—I'm the doctor around here."

"Wouldn't dream of it," murmured Ianto. "Not my type of reading, your book."

"Besides, if it's psychoanalysis we're doing, it should be you and that stopwatch fetish," Owen said, completely ignoring Ianto's dry comment about reading.

"I really don't have a stopwatch fetish, Owen."

"Right, it's the button on top."

"You should try it sometime."

"You still haven't answered the question."

"Which was?"

"What if he meant it?" said Tosh, jumping back in because it struck her that Ianto was a master at deflecting the issue at hand; he had done so by perfectly distracting and then winding up Owen.

"Tosh," Ianto said patiently. "He doesn't mean anything by it."

"How do you know?" asked Owen. "Why else did he hire you? He's been practically eye f—"

"Owen," Tosh warned, knowing what Owen was going to say and sensing it would be taking things too far for the current conversation. She gave Ianto an apologetic smile.

Ianto shrugged at Owen's question, though Tosh couldn't tell what the man made of the doctor's unsaid words. "He hired me because I asked him too, that's why. And I kept asking until I caught him a dinosaur, and then he couldn't say no."

"Now that's some serious flirting," Owen pointed out, and Tosh couldn't help but giggle. Ianto cleared his throat almost as if he was embarrassed.

"Yes, well, it worked, didn't it? And now you lot can't live without my coffee."

"And you like flirting with Jack Harkness." Owen and Ianto stared at one another across the table until Ianto sighed.

"What do you want me to do? Punch him so he'll stop?"

"I want you to answer Tosh's question. What if he meant it? What would you do?"

Ianto shook his head in confusion. "Are you asking if I would take him up on it?"

"Yes. That."

"You already pointed out he doesn't mean it, so there's nothing to take him up on."

Owen rolled his eyes. "He's Jack Harkness, he's always ready to be taken up. Or down. Or any other way."

"Now there's a mental image," Ianto murmured, shaking his head. But he was glancing down at his food with the barest hint of upturned lips, and shook his head again, as if to clear his thoughts. Tosh had an idea.

"You could try to find out," she said. "See if he means it."

Ianto's head snapped up, and he gaped at them, a rare sight when he was always so calm and in control of the conversation. Nothing ever surprised him, but Tosh had pulled it off rather well. "And how would I go about that?"

"Start something," said Owen, grinning broadly. "Try flirting with him, and see what kind of reaction you get. If he seems surprised and backs off, you're probably safe."

Ianto loose a snort that time. "Safe? You mean, safe from the roaming eyes and wandering hands of the insatiable Jack Harkness?"

"Exactly," said Tosh, nodding. "I think Owen might be onto something. And if Jack returns your flirting, then maybe he's serious about it."

"And that's when you punch him," added Owen.

Ianto pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. "Let me get this straight: you're suggesting I seduce our boss so we know whether he's a genuine flirt or an insincere tease?"

Owen almost spit out the drink he had been about to finish. "Bloody hell, Ianto, we didn't say seduce him! Initiate some flirting, and see if he goes on the defensive to put you off."

"Why would I do that again?" asked Ianto.

"It'd be fun," shrugged Owen, earning a very skeptical pair of raised eyebrows in reply. "And I'd really like to watch someone mess with Jack Harkness, see if you can't crack that ego with those Welsh vowels he's always going on about." If anything, Ianto's eyebrows moved even higher. He turned toward Tosh.

"I'm curious now," added Tosh. "I'd like to see Jack's reaction if you dial it up, since he's always the one doing the flirting around here." Ianto offered her a small smile.

"Well, I'd do anything for you, Tosh," he said, winking at her. Owen waved his arm across the table at him.

"That's what I'm talking about! Try that on Jack and see what happens. He'll either snog you senseless or never flirt with you again."

"Think you can do it?" challenged Tosh.

"I think it's immature and unprofessional," said Ianto, shaking his head, but there was definitely a spark of interest in his eyes. At that moment, Gwen walked into the room, Jack right behind her with a huge grin on his face.

"What's immature and unprofessional? Because I can always go for more immature and unprofessional around here."

Owen exchanged a look with Tosh, who tossed it across the table to Ianto, who simply rolled his eyes in that way he had that said more than words ever could.

"Nothing, sir. Just the usual lack of maturity amongst the medical staff."

"Hey," Owen protested. "My lack of maturity is anything but usual, it is unique."

"It's something," Tosh murmured, and Ianto nodded in agreement. He handed Gwen her lunch, then offered Jack his usual order.

"Would you like a refill, sir?" he asked. "I'd be happy to top it off for you."

Jack smirked. "You can top me anytime."

"Would you like a shot of whip cream with that?" Ianto murmured. Tosh and Owen watched, one fascinated, one disgusted.

"And a cherry on top?"

"I do believe we have some left, sir."

"Sounds like an orgasm in a cup," Jack said with a grin.

"I try my best," Ianto replied with his own small smirk.

Tosh stared at Jack, then at Ianto, who winked at her even while flirting outrageously with Jack right in front of them all.

"Bloody hell," Owen muttered under his breath. "It's like watching a horror movie."

Ianto smiled serenely at them before turning toward the door and walking out. Tosh was sure there was a sway to his hips, as if trying to draw attention to his arse; when she glanced at Jack, he was watching raptly with a dreamy smile on his face, as if remembering something fondly.

Which was when Tosh realized Ianto didn't mind the flirting at all, and that their challenge was pointless: Ianto had already taken Jack up on his offer. Now she just had to catch them at it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I wrote years ago and published on fanfiction.net, but under the title 'Chocolate Sprinkles.' I have edited it, and in this case completely rewritten the ending. I found it amusing to think that Tosh and Owen might actually challenge Ianto to flirt back with Jack. Originally, I had originally intended this scene to be set before TKKS as a bit of pre-stopwatch flirting. Now I see it as happening after Jack and Ianto have started their physical relationship. Hope you enjoyed it as something lighter after 'Savior/Traitor'!


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